Comin' 'Round The Mountains (pt. III of III)

Good day, friend! The Unvarnished Truth gives literary obeisance to you in this final chapter of PDC’s mountainous journey.


Banff! Pow! Whizz!

The last stop on our mini-tour was the infamous Rose & Crown Pub in Banff. Damn that Flasky for missing out! Lots of pretty flaskettes up here he could meet; maybe settle down with one and have some little flasks.

Our daunting load-in to the 2nd floor Rose & Crown Pub


Aaah, the tried & true rock bar... there's something special about the raw, uninhibited energy of a drunken, tavern crowd. Fun-loving, wanton, rowdy, sweaty and dressed to kill! And although my poor libido takes a beating with all the temptations of the flesh around, I wasn't so frustrated after someone told me that Banff has an inordinately high amount of communicable nookie diseases. Nothin' like the fear of a burnin' pee (or worse) to keep the ol' John Thomas behaving himself.


Cole Slaw

The bar manager, one H. Stanislaus Seaforth, made sure the locals knew what was about to hit them with a nice photo montage of PDC in their marquee/display case. Was Banff ready for a swingin’ good time? All I know is how can you not trust a man named Stanislaus and makes you think of cole slaw every time you hear his name. Or maybe it’s just me. (Editor’s Note: It’s just you.)

Welcome to the Rose & Crown... prepare to be steampunk swung


Banff is not only a lovely tourist destination nestled in the heart of the majestic Canadian Rockies, but it is positively rife with Aussies. Rife, I say! Obviously, it’s a great place to visit but folks from Down Under sure like working here. But why? The novelty of toilet water turning the opposite direction? Rarity of kangaroo rapes? Or dingo-related infant abductions?? Let’s make it all of the above. Oi!


Kooky Characters

Though the throng was a Sunday night crowd, the numbers and drinks bought by those numbers were plentiful. Goshdarnit if those liquored up characters could party! And we saw some colorful characters, by gum! Par exemple….

How about Alvin & Pat from the Maritimes who work in Ft. Mac and spend all their money in Banff (including bevvies for your three favorite snake oil salesmen in PDC)! Then there’s “Drunk As F*** Julie”… haha, she was hilarious! And THEN there was the strangely dressed fellow we dubbed The Green Methalishi … i.e., in green/on meth.

View of the street from behind Rev's drumkit

 

Dustbowled Over

Cover songs like “She Ain’t Pretty” and “Til I Am Myself” were dusted off and they went over pretty well along with our hopefully-in-the-future recorded ditties, “Division Of The Damned” and “Smokestack Cadillac”. The night’s activities & proclivities went perfect except for the fact that one of my basses fell off a guitar stand twice.... if I hadn't been half in the bag I might've cared more and likely fetal with anxiety. See, kids? Don't listen to the "experts". Alcohol can be a comforting friend.

Rev's reaction to the night's bass disaster


They Are The World

Hello and many thanks to the nice folks we met from Texas, England and of course, Australia.

Stan for the gig, Dan the soundman and the story-telling, seizure Caesar himself, James the epileptic cook.


Rainbow Skittles!

It was a veritable steamboat of adventure, our little weekend tour. Your ol' Sawbones could get used to this lifestyle. My partners in crime, Bandmeister Randy B and The Rev. Robin Eklund might say the same. Or they might not... I don't really know those two very well. But that's what the road life is all about, dear reader! Playing rock 'n' roll for the hungry masses, getting to know your brothers in confined spaces and enduring drunken confessionals about lurid past lives from the aforementioned. And wrapping all of it up with a double complete rainbow when we got home! A nice, oogy, candy-coated ending to our tale!


... except that it's really only the beginning. Stay tuned for more long-winded adventures of Punch Drunk Cabaret this fall.

And that's the unvarnished truth.


Sawbones

 

Bonus media! The Rev playin' some geetar in Dunster.

IMG_0378.MOV