Marathon Of Rock! pt. I

Hello summer lovers! Or maybe that should be lovers of summer? Meh... a little column A, a little column B. This here is The Unvarnished Truth. The bestest blog you barely done heard of! So while you and the other six people that read this thing get ready for another slobberknocker installment, I'll keep typin' & sippin' and afterwards we can metaphorically spoon and have a nap.


Well it was a hell of a start to July (or, Joo-lye, as we say down in Dustbowl) with a record six shows in three consecutive days! Now since your ol' Sawbones is gettin' on in years, I've gotta watch my calories, take my blood pressure tablets and cut down on all that sweet, sweet love makin' (Editor's Note: haha. You -- seriously???). Gotta save some energy for all y'all!



Rat Salad


First stop on this whirlwind, travelin' rock caravan was Athabasca, AB on Canada Day for the Magnificent River Rats Festival. Now the only thing I know about this town is that it is also called the "Gateway To The Great New North", has a population around 2900 and that prior to 1913, was known as Athabasca Landing. Otherwise, never heard of it. As far as "Magnificent River Rats", lucky for me I did not encounter such a terrifying varmint. But the local denizens were way less terrifying and actually quite awesome!


Terrifyingly cute mascot                                                    Bandmeister Randy B and local constabulary. Moustaches of a feather


Roots rocker badassery: local country artist Dylan Hansen and Sawbones



puppeteers Imaginarium opening for PDC. Puppets. Opening. Ha.



Danny Hooper's Stock


The event was emceed by Alberta country music legend, Danny "I-Run" Hooper. A fine fellow, Danny. He took a likin' to us and we got along like two hat-wearin' peas in a pod. One could say he got along with some of us a little better than the rest. See photo below for disturbing proof.

Disturbing proof: Mr. Hooper and Cap't Watts



Unwritten Rules Of Rock & Roll #77:


Never mix your liquors. Easier said than done.


Ol' Dan had a crackerjack band, too, as they also performed that day. His pedal steel guitar player, one Smokey Fennell, is one of the nicest fellas you could imagine. Now imagine him signaling his wife to come over and pour me a "small" drink of delicious tequila when I'd already gotten into the rider rye. (Editor's Note: Oh lord.... you didn't.)

Sawbones post-gig with dubious beverage and Smokey, the architect of said dubiousness


The combination of strong drink + volume of aforementioned x alternating mixture of incompatible spirits equals trouble, normally. And personally, I loathe public intoxication and it's inherent problems -- slurring of speech, regrettable utterances, staggered gait, relieving one's self into non-sanctioned receptacles -- any or all of which your sheepish Sawbones may have participated in. I say may have because another symptom is foggy memory. Which is why I must publicly apologize (I think) to the officer about your hat, the puppeteer about your marionette and the lady about your cleavage.


Whew! Confession IS good for the soul! 


Regarding the set PDC performed that day... you'll have to ask the other band members. I plum forgot to remember. 


I do remember to give thanks to Ida for having us at your fine festival, D. Hooper Esq. and band, Chris & Trevor from Imaginarium and the young, next country superstar, Dylan Hansen.



Things Overheard At The Magnificent River Rats Festival


Let's go rock the rats!

Don't make eye contact with the audience.

Y'ever do any nasty things with them there puppets?


And that, from what I recall, is the unvarnished truth.