Scalliwagesque Theatre

Hello Friend! Welcome to The Unvarnished Truth as I see it.


Well, the PDC boys and I sure had a hornswoggler of a time on the Alberta's Untapped ticket down at a sold out Scalliwag's in Camrose. Oh yes, friend! This past Saturday night was the final show of six across the province showcasing musical talent and even the legendary CKUA Radio recorded it for posterity, the mad fools.


Sadly, we were late catching the first act and it may have been my fault as I had come down with a severe case of preening. No matter... openers Jesse Dee & Jacquie B were alphabetically delicious, I'm sure. The evening's third performance was from the mumfordandsonsian Audio/Rocketry. Fine fellows, all.


So your favorite fashionistas got all dressed up, plugged it in and ripped thru a 40 minute set guaranteed to put hair on your chest, regardless of gender. That's right, I said it... fashionistas. Why we were second of three on the bill, I'll never know. Ever try quickly moving all your equipment on & off a small, crowded stage while looking awesome? Not for the timid. But it isn't all about image and aesthetics! No, no, no... it's about the money... MUSIC... um, yes... all about the music.


I humbly submit to you, dear reader, that it was a performance for the ages reminiscent of Deep Purple at Montreux, Cheap Trick at Budokan, Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, Jimi Hendrix at New Sarepta...  oh friend, it was special. We stomped and wailed thru gems like the worldwide-video-viral-computer-interweb-smash-hit, "Two Brown Bottles Of Beer", a familiar crowd pleasing cover of "Stray Cat Strut" and heretofore unrecorded newbies, "Stop, Drop & Roll" and "Pandemonium". Speaking of which, why ol' Randy Guitar Bailer did his best to spread some with an unscripted solo atop the table (never spilled a drink) of some front row patrons much to their delight/horror. Note to CKUA Radio --  you might wanna skip over that particular song as I may have plum forgot to play my bass, being temporarily mesmerized by the aforementioned showbiz and all.


The Right Rev. Robin Eklund provided not only the night's requisite rugged and rock solid percussion but contributed some sweet backup vocals as well. A man of many talents, most of which cannot and will not be repeated here. As far as yours truly, your humble 12-string bass fop, my simple role in the group is obvious: to have your eyes transfixed on my hat.


Non-musical Notes
- a few run-in's with acquaintances from my checkered past; a few grape cigarettes and a flask of dubious spirits consumed; a few stunning women sporting the new PDC ladies tee's! Only certain body types can wear these shirts. I, for example, am NOT one of those body types.


Rumor Mill - A certain reverend drummer may perform a small lead vocal in the coming weeks & months. Also overheard someone talk about a Punch Drunk Cabernet but he may have just had a cold.


Tote Board - Band/Audience scuffles: 0. New Hats: 1. Good Times Had By All: unquantifiable.


Huzzahs - Carly and Michelle from Alberta's Untapped; Duke from CKUA; Mike from Scalliwag's; Jane & Shirley from the future.


Thanks for reading and make sure to check out the rest of the website including future concert dates. Come see Punch Drunk Cabaret perform when they come to your town with their traveling minstrel show. It's not to be missed! Good for what ails you! Twice the healing power of a decent miracle cure tonic and all the vim, vigour & machismo of a blood flow enhancement tablet!


And friend, that's the unvarnished truth.



Sawbones