Year Of The Drunk

Happy really, really belated New Year! The Unvarnished Truth returns for another annum of anal retentive entertainment!


I trust the new season hasn't brung calamity upon you yet. 2016 is the Chinese Year of the Monkey! You want calamity? Throw a monkey into your plans and watch the hilarity ensue! We, however, think it's our year. PDC certainly doesn't need a bunch of hilarious monkeys to create calamity, that's for sure. But for a price, I think we can make that happen.

Holy monkeyshine, have we been busy! During the "holiday" season, one is expected to spend time with loved ones, gear down a little and enjoy a cocktail or two, look for unsuspecting mistletoe victims and kiss strangers at midnight, January 1st. Well your pals in PDC did that and much more over the last few weeks. Including these not atypical but no less colourful gigs:



Rocky Mountain High


Dec 19 - Castle Mtn Ski Resort, Pincher Creek AB. We never done did no ski lodge before!! Oh the mind wandered just thinking about the multitude of ski bunnies up there one could fraternize with! And even if said fraternization came to some sort of mutually beneficial conclusion, there'd be nowhere to "conclude" as the band accommodations consisted of one very unprivate room with bunk beds. It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll, kids. 

Bunker down 



Humble Beginnings


Let me tell you, a few things kept us from straying far from Humbletown this evening. Not just having the three of us ne'er-do-wells share a room (for those at home keeping score, Capt. Sean E. Watts commandeered the top bunk), but the fact that no one showed up for the first half of the night! That tends to put a damper in your trousers, musically speaking.


Literally seconds before we hit the stage to rock the late-comer masses


The evening wasn't a total loss, however. During the second half of the proceedings, people began streaming in once they heard the raucous roll of Punch Drunk Cabaret. Plenty of ski hill staff attended and many of them from around the world. One comely lass (a cattle processor/former stripper) favoured us with some pleasant conversation about her assets. She may have been talking about RRSPs but I, to be honest, wasn't really listening. See below for evidence.


Lovely assets



Flapper... Don't Even Know 'Er!


Dec 31 - Fratters Speakeasy, Red Deer AB. Another year, another hornswoggler (if horns are, in fact, swoggled) of a New Year's Eve show in the City Of Crimson Antelope.

Lookout, Charlie! We're settin' the bar high!!


The SRO crowd at Fratters were treated not only to a typical PDC swoggling of horns but a video shoot for a song off our next album... tentatively titled (Editor's Note: To be announced. Or they haven't figured it out yet. Damned musicians.).

Patrons dressed up in flapper dresses and gentleman chapeaus. Sometimes at the same time. Libations were consumed, cake was lustily eaten, bottoms were spanked. Yup. Should be a galldurned good video alright!

What is this... 1932? Glamourous Fratters patron.



Hobos & Hollywood


The past few months, your Punch Drunk pals have been road testing new songs for our third album to be released in the spring. One of them is called "EliXXXer". This swingin' little ditty was the tune of choice for the companion video, filmed this very night in Red Deer! Part of it was us doing what we do best: rippin' it up onstage making a giant, joyous racket. And part of it was doing what we ain't so good at: acting. The more thespianesque portions came earlier in the day when we shot footage in an alley, literally in our long underwear. Trust your ol' Sawbones on this one. We weren't acting. It was so durned cold that night that we didn't have to act like we were freezing. Certain body parts of mine certainly weren't acting. Shrinking is a more apt descriptor.


Behind the video scenes of "EliXXXer"



Cold Nuts & Kooky Kids


Jan 9 - Deep Freeze Byzantine Festival, Edmonton AB. This particular festival is in, quite poetically, the dead of winter. 'Twas -18 by showtime outside. But inside....


Warmin' things up inside the Community Centre


Another interesting gig for the PDC Three.... a smattering, a mish-mash, a veritable cornucopia of artists during the day. And your favorite behatted rockaswingers at night. If it was cold outside, you can bet your pretty pantaloons that it heated up indoors with three sets of Punch Drunk debauchery. Ok, debauchery is a strong word and perhaps even inaccurate this eve. For there were youngin's present so we had to tone down the adult nature of our show. Cases in point from the stage: "How the heck are ya?", "Let's rock this motherfudgin' town!", "Show us your tips!", and so on.

Speaking of chillen.... before the show, my fellow musical conspirators and I briefly took refuge in the beer tent for a pre-sound check bevvie. Much to my horror and chagrin, they allowed underagers in, thereby negating one of the reasons one enjoys said tent: avoiding people's spawn. Again, I had to keep a civil tongue in my head for fear of infecting tomorrow's leaders with gutter talk. Cue the substitutions: "Are you gonna finish that galldurned beer?", "It's fudging cold in here!", "Those tips are huge!", and so on.

Now I know what you're thinking, dear reader. That ol' Sawbones is a right cur and a scoundrel and a bad influence! While I do take a certain amount of pride in that assessment, I did find a certain affinity for a couple of youngsters who took a shine to the band. Young Kevin dressed up for the show and even requested, by name, various PDC numbers. He also had a helluva hat which I thought about stealing but decided that my reputation had been tarnished enough. Besides... he's a future paying customer!

Sawbones's chapeau envy


Another kidlet by the name of Timber drew some lovely and strikingly accurate portraits of the band during the evening. These one-of-a-kind renditions shall go into the PDC Hall of Infamy!



Clockwise from top left: Bandmeister Randy B, PDC stage, Sawbones, Capt. Sean E. Watts - eerie.



In(nuendo) The Future


This shore was a heckuva way to spend the last month -- gigs galore, video shootin' and an album on the way. Yup, the Cabaret moves to the recording room at world-renowned Swampbelly Studios to fashion a new long player for your bemusement. When, oh when will this historic opus be unleashed upon the masses, Sawbones?, I hear you say. Spring or thereabouts, my sources tell me. Just in time to git goin' with the multitude of personal appearances we'll make in 2016 to thrill and titillate you all! Quicker than you can say "a Chinese monkey threw poop at me!", a brand, spankin' new PDC record will grace your ears while assaulting your olfactory senses! Because monkey or no monkey, in 2016, we aim to waft the stench of fame.


And that's the unvarnished truth.